A character:

Kaaa the Cannibal

all the A’s are pronounced, like a mean laugh

if he could spell, he still wouldn’t spell it with apostrophes, because that would definitely be a poison curse.

DEX +2, WIS +1, INT and CHA -1.

Sneaking 3D, Murdering 2D, Tattooing 1D, Pirate Boarder 1D.

Gear: (expert scavenger) stolen machete, stolen pry-bar, stolen arquebus + 10 shots, stolen mirror.

Things in the world that have something to do with him:

1. Gravely wounded a Dutch captain; since he didn’t have time to eat him all, he did the proper thing and just ate the part which represented the distilled essence of the Dutch captain (his hat).   He knows which brothel the captain is convalescing in, if he wants to go back for more pieces.

2.  Before he could lay claim to his ship, however (the Hat granting the power of Having-a-Ship-ness, obvs.) it was boarded and captured by Portuguese opportunists.  The shrewd Dutch sailors are making sailing miserable for the Catholic officers who captured them, so they haven’t gotten their prize very far away.  None of them know it’s Kaaa’s ship.

Between the smoking rim of the caldera and the sky-black sands upon which we build our prosperous and efficient harbour villages lies a dismal, reeking, dripping jungle, about which the less is said the better. Our primitive ancestors (before we became civilized and began to trade with the Chinese) believed our island was the only point of land above water, and so we call it The Top of the Sea.

We are rich in fish, and sharks, and rays, eels, porpoises and occasionally turtles. The Chinese are not interested in these things. Because we are clever of mind and tongue, we are also rich in Indian textiles, and in silks and ceramics to rival the most celestial court in China. Our ships are very fast and very shallow, and very hard to see when we take down our Chinese mast and pull our silent oars. We have cleverly bargained for Chinese magics, including steel, powder, navigation, and writing. In exchange for these riches, we trade long, strong timbers and various clear rocks the Chinese value, both of which can be found in the truly awful jungles I wish you would forget about.

Only very occasionally does the volcano obliterate one of our mighty and fruitful villages! The Chinese have brought their gods to our island, and the Portugese have erected an enormous cross on the beach near their enclave and neither has yet been destroyed by fire from above or below, nor have any of their holy men (so far as I know) been strangled by the caldera’s shadow which is said to smell of death. Many locals keep old superstitions, but not me. Unfortunately, our peaceful and generous harbours are completely undefended from attack by horrible Dutchmen, despite the regular arrival of Chinese and even Portuguese squadrons, because all of our defensive works, cannon, and sharp things are facing in toward the repulsive jungle.

What’s Chewing On That Carcass (out in the Jungle)? Table

1. Big Fat Maggots (if you chase off the swarm of biting flies, you can eat them, but it’s taboo to eat them off a man’s corpse)

2. Screaming, Mad-eyed Fluffy Little Monkeys

3. d4 Crocodiles (if 1, it’s big enough to swallow it whole and has strange runes carved into its spines)

4. a Snake, even bigger than that crocodile

5. absolutely nothing, the plants around are starting to wilt, and it smells strange here

6. Small, Murderous Cannibals with quick hands and very bright smiles, covered in sand-black ritual scars in eye-bending swirls and curlicues, who steal into our villages in the dead of moonless nights to slit our throats and eat our guts and steal our guns and drag our children off to sacrifice to their heathen and evil gods.